


Romancing the Cat

by ImBackBoi



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Catwoman (Comics)
Genre: Blonde Selina, F/M, Gen, Inspired by Romancing the Stone, Maven is so done, No Capes - AU, Selina is Joan Wilder, accidental Cheaper by the Dozen, bruce is so done, fight me, omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-09 03:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20483762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImBackBoi/pseuds/ImBackBoi
Summary: Selina Kyle, author of the immensely popular CatWoman novels, travels to Cairo to meet up with her young ward Holly, have a little adventure, and maybe, finally, get over her writers block. Instead, she gets dragged into a scheme to steal an ancient cat artifact with the lives of her loved ones on the line.Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne travels to Cairo to pick-up the kid he never knew he had.Their paths cross.





	Romancing the Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the movie Romancing the Stone. I love that movie, but do not expect this to be exactly like that movie. I'm also really fond of Blonde Selina from the animated series... especially when Bruce is all "OMG that's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life!" 
> 
> Never fear, I'm working on the next chapter for TAoF ;) 
> 
> Have fun!

"Read it and weep," Selina plopped the manuscript onto the desk in front of Maven, "I know I did, but mostly because it's literally the worst thing I have ever written."

"It's can't be that bad," Maven began flipping through the pages, "Oh god, it's worse than Twilight. What is wrong with you, Selina? You're better than this."

"I know!" the author exclaimed. She began pacing back and forth angrily, "What's wrong with me, Maven? I haven't been able to write anything decent in months. Months! I can't keep this up. My books sell well, but that doesn't mean the moneys going to last forever. I have to earn my keep! I have to support Helena. And there's Holly to think of, too."

"Holly does a decent job of helping out. She got all those scholarships, right? That girl is brilliant." Maven interrupted smoothly, "And speaking of Holly, she sent a package for you."

"Really?" Selina perched on the edge of the big desk while the redhead fished around her wreck of an office. 

Maven was quite possibly her oldest and dearest friend. She was also Selina's agent, editor, baby-sitter, and assistant. Not to mention up-tight, goody-goody, an excellent shoulder to cry on, and had the perfect bitch voice to light the fire under the most phlegmatics ass (which, thankfully, Selina was not). 

Messy, though? Maven didn't do 'mess' - Ever. Maven was allergic to mess. Maven was, to put it kindly, fastidious to the extreme.

"What _happened_ to your office?"

"It was raided? Robbed? Ransacked, yes. Ransacked."

"What did they steal?"

"Absolutely nothing," Maven shrugged and gave her a look that very clearly stated what she thought of Selina's vocabulary - author or not, "Which is why I said 'ransacked'."

Selina huffed. 

"Here we are! It just came today, too."

Selina opened the box, one no bigger than a sheath of printer paper, and scanned the contents. A little baggie of sand. Several brochures. Polaroids. A few little trinkets. An honest to god _scroll_. Postcards...

"She looks really happy," Maven was flipping through the photos. "Not even a note. I love that girl, but she needs to learn how to communicate better than just sending home trophies. She's like a cat, only instead of leaving you dead crickets, she sends you things that make you think, 'gosh, it's probably best I don't question how she got her hands on that'."

Selina held up a pair of tickets to the Cairo Theatre with a smile. 

"I like to think some things don't need words to be said."

Maven looked up at Selina, the tickets she was waving back and forth, and rolled her eyes. 

"You know, if you spent as much time working on this story as you did traveling to find your muse and day-dreaming, you'd already have another best seller."

"I do not travel that much."

"Yes, you do." Maven held up a hand, palm out, when Selina scowled. "Stop. No, I'm not arguing with you, 'Lina. I'm just worried about you is all. It's just like you said. The money isn't going to last and there'll come a time when you can't travel at the drop of a hat."

Selina's scowl only deepened. 

"I know that. You think I don't know that?" she snapped angrily. Maven bristled,

"_I_ know that if you go on this trip, you're going to miss your convention. I also know, from experience, that you've already decided to catch the earliest plane, which is probably tomorrow, and you've already forgotten about taking Helena to the museum this weekend."

Selina began stuffing everything back in the box violently,

"I have not!" She had. "She'll understand. She's very smart. Helena knows I travel for work and inspiration."

Maven crossed her arms and scowled fiercely, "She knows you're going to run away and leave her behind again."

"I don't have to listen to this! You have a good day, _Maven_," the woman snarled, "I'm going to go home, spend time with _my_ daughter, and then plan a trip to spend with my _other_ daughter." Selina slung her purse and hefted her box, "Keep the manuscript. Burn it for all I care. Good-bye."

Selina turned and stormed out of the wrecked office, slamming the door behind her. 

Maven sunk back into her chair with a sigh and tried to un-crumple the photograph that had suffered through a clenched fist. Holly looked bright and happy, blonde hair glinting in the Egyptian sun. Beside her stood a tall, dark, and handsome man with white hair at his temples. The woman sighed again. 

"Damnit, Holly."

...

That night, after Selina and Helena had gone out for dinner at their favorite restaurant, watched their favorite movie while eating their favorite ice-cream, and Selina had broken the news to her daughter that she was going away for a week or two (she was undecided about how long, and had only purchased a one-way ticket), the woman sat at her desk staring at her old-fashioned type-writer. 

Was Maven right?

Selina recalled the way Helena had reacted as she had broken the news to her daughter. 

_"Don't forget your sunblock, Mommy, so you don't get wrinkles."_

_"Travel smart, Mommy. I want you to be safe."_

_"I hope you have a good time, Mommy."_

_"Maybe you'll meet someone."_

The woman had laughed at the last one. It had been part of the conversation she and Maven had had before her last trip. 

Maven was wrong, Selina decided, and when she got back from Egypt, the next book she wrote was going to knock her socks off. 

...

On the roof-top across the street, a man in a black trench-coat watched the apartment lights flick off. 

...

Across Gotham City, a tired butler was driving his young Master to the airport.

"And how long shall I tell the children you will be gone for, Master Bruce?" Alfred inquired, the car idling at a stoplight. The light turned green. Alfred waited the requisite three seconds to make sure no one was going to run the light in an attempt to get away from the cops, and pressed on the gas. 

Master Bruce's voice came out of the dark, "I assume a week, but possibly two. I'll be dealing with the Egyptian government as well as the American Embassy. We wont know how badly the streams have crossed until we actually get there. Apparently, Mary died over a month ago and they're just now getting a hold of us? Bureaucratic incompetence never ceases to amaze me, Alfred."

Alfred knew that if he looked back, Master Bruce would be brooding at the window, his face highlighted by the garish neon lights of Gotham's nightlife, looking but not really seeing.

"Yes sir. And the name of my new young master? Possibly his age, too, sir, that I may ensure-"

"Terrance," Master Bruce said, "Terrance McGinnis. Age 4. All you have to do is ask, Al."

"Hmph." Alfred smiled. The car temporarily plunged into the darkness cast by an overpass. A minute later, they were on the on ramp and suddenly in the thick of Gotham's late night traffic, headed towards the airport. 


End file.
